The Dating Game
by Mintika
Summary: Read an unoriginal, but perhaps entertaining, fic about anime characters on the dating game. Sec chp- Aisha
1. Tenchi

The Dating Game  
  
Animes in this chapter include: Gundam Wing, Tenchi, Sailor Moon, and Dragonball Z.  
  
  
  
The scene opens to show a stage made to look like a small, fashionable, pink living area complete with heart shaped love seats and a live studio audience. A typical announcer voice begins, "Today's presentation of the Dating Game is brought to you by Kellogs ® cereal. And here's your host…Duo Maxwell!" Camera zooms in to a sharply dressed man walking across the stage and sitting in a purple chair next to the love seat. Duo flashes a blinding smile towards the audience and starts the show. "Welcome to the Dating Game! Joining us today, we have sword fighting prince who has a heartbreaking smile and a history of bad relationships with women. Please welcome a sensitive coming from planet earth, Tenchi Muyo! The crowd cheers as Tenchi, clad a pair of khakis and a casual sweater walks out and sits in the love seat. Duo greets him, "Hi, Tenchi. So, you have a bad past with women, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, I just can't seem to find the right girl."  
  
"Well, we're here to change all that! Why don't you take a look at the ladies we have for you today?" Tenchi watches on a screen as three women come out. Or, two women and a man-ish looking person. The first is dressed in a green sailor uniform and has long dark green hair. The second wears a blue vest with a striped shirt and has short blonde hair and blue eyes. Both of these women are exceptionally good looking. The third is Relena. Duo talks to Tenchi as these three walk around on screen.  
  
"OK, Tenchi, you have to choose which of these three girls you like best based on looks and later you will pick which one you like best based on the question answer session!" Tenchi nods with that aggravating, blank, empty-headed expression he always has on his face and picks a girl.  
  
"Let's introduce our bachelorettes! Bachelorette number one rules over the planet Pluto; in her spare time, she acts as guardian of time and fights the negaverse! Welcome, Setsuna! Bachelorette number two, who began her career attempting to destroy the world, now spends her time defending the earth from invaders, fighting in martial arts tournaments, and shopping! Welcome, android 18! Bachelorette number three, former queen of the earth, is a pacifist who enjoys politics, baking cookies, and men in gundams! Welcome, Relena Darlian Peacecraft!" The three women wave to the audience who can see them and say hi to Tenchi who can hear them.  
  
"OK, Tenchi, it's time to ask your first question!" Tenchi pulls out his stack of pink colored questions and address a microphone. "Bachelorette number one, what do you think is the most important quality you look for in a man?"  
  
"His sense of loyalty to the people he cares about."  
  
"Bachelorette number two?"  
  
"The size of his bank account," 18 replies while filing her nails. Tenchi sweat drops. "Uh, OK, ah, bachelorettes two and three, what do you consider the sweetest thing a guy has ever done for you?"  
  
"Destroying my deactivation device."  
  
"Not killing me." Tenchi scratches his head and continues, "Right, um, bachelorettes one and three, if you were a fruit, what fruit would you be and why?" Setsuna blinks and answers, "A kiwi, because I like the color…?" Relena answeres seriously, "A pomegranate, because I believe they are the fruit that is truly at peace with their world and surroundings." Setsuna snorts and Android 18 rolls her eyes. Duo chuckles. "OK, Tenchi, only time for one more question!" Tenchi asks his final question, "For all three bachelorettes: Pick an anime character to describe the bachelorette to your left and tell why you chose that character."  
  
Relena: "To describe Setsuna I'd have to say Noin from Gundam Wing, she has a good heart." Setsuna blinks and 18 rolls her eyes.  
  
Setsuna: "18 is like Susuka from Outlaw Star, beautiful, but deadly and only here because someone is paying her lots and lots of money." 18 nods in approval.  
  
Android 18 smirks and says, "Relena reminds me of Aiyka, annoying as hell and not half the looks of her sybling!" Setsuna attempts to hold in a giggle as Relena jumps up and screams, "WHAT?!" She turns on 18 and attempts to bitch slap her. Okay, she does slap her, she ATTEMPTS to make it hurt. 18 now grins openly and Setsuna bursts out laughing.  
  
"I cannot believe you SAID that! Do you KNOW who I am?" As 18 and Relena face off, Duo cuts in. "Well! We'll be back right after these messages to let you know who Tench has chosen for his date!"  
  
Commercial Break. Please wait for three minutes visualizing Kellogs ® commercials before proceeding to the next part of the story…  
  
Thank you!  
  
The shows comes back to Duo and Tenchi in their respective seats and Setsuna and 18 in theirs. Relena is nowhere to be found. "Welcome back! It's time Tenchi makes his final decidion! Now Tenchi, at the beginning of the show you picked a girl with the best looks. If she is the same as the girl you chose based on personality, then you two will be headed to a week long vacation at the Intergalactic Playroom! (sounds kinda kinky, huh?) If not, you and the bachelorette you chose for personality will be sent out for a night on the town courtesy of the Dating Game. So, are you ready to tell us? Who did you select for looks?"  
  
"I picked the girl with the long blond hair and bangs."  
  
"And for personality?"  
  
"bachelorette number three, Relena Darlian Peacecraft."  
  
"Congratulations Duo! You will be sent for a week to the intergalactic Playroom with your date! Or you would have been. Unfortunately Relena had a little accident over the commercial break and will be unable to attend the romantic getaway week." 18 snickers. "Luckily you may choose one of the other two bachelorettes to go with you on a dinner date!" Tenchi blinks, "Uh, okay, I choose…"  
  
Suddenly Aiyka and Ryoko blow a hole in the wall and come rushing in. Ryoko yells, "Tenchi! What do you think your doing here with these sluts? You're MY man!"  
  
"What? Tenchi is mine! Aren't you Tenchi? And we're going home now. What are you doing here anyway? Washu put you up to this didn't she? Well that's enough, you're coming with me!" says Aiyka. Ryoko pushes Aiyka out of the way and starts shouting, "In your dreams, princess. Everyone knows Tenchi loves me, don't you Tenchi? And you can never have him!" Ryoko and Aiyka continue to bitch while Tenchi stands there sweat dropping, like the moron he is, and Android 18 and Setsuna leave to find some better entertainment. Duo ends the show, "Heh! Well, I guess that's it, catch us next time on the Dating Game!" The screen fades out as Duo calls for security to stop the now violent Ryoko and Aiyka.  
  
  
  
  
  
Duo isn't particularly in character cause he wasn't as important. Does Setsuna even really have a personality? Well, I may add more chapters with different people. I think I'm gonna do one with master Roshi… 


	2. Aisha

The scene opens to an unforgettable stage set with pink furniture and heart love seats. The announcer begins, "Welcome to today's episode of the dating Game! And here's your host, Duo Maxwell!" The crowd erupts with a frenzy of wild, uncontrollable, pre-practiced cheers. Duo takes his usually seat on the stage and greets the audience, "Hello! Today we have a very special bachelorette who traveled all the way from the Ctarl Ctarl empire so she could choose from three eligible bachelors! She comes from a long line of proud, well-bred, Ctarl Ctarls; holds a high standing position in the government; and enjoys dining on fine cuisine! Just make sure you watch out for her claws, you never want to end up in a "cat fight" with this feline fatale!" Duo flashes a cheesy grin, "Please welcome Aisha Clan Clan!" An attractive looking human type with cat ears and tail walked into the room and sat next to Duo.  
  
"Hello, Aisha. It's great to have you here. Why don't you tell us why you decided to come on our show!" Aisha grinned, "Hi, Duo, it's great to be here. I need to find a strong man who isn't afraid of a strong woman, and can appreciate my feminine beauty."  
  
"Well, we'll try to find someone for you today! Now why don't you take a look at the three bachelors we have for you!" Aisha looked up to a nearby screen displaying three men. One, dressed in a tuxedo, top hat, and disguising glasses, bowed for the camera and held out a rose. Duo introduced him as Tuxedo Mask. A blonde, gentle-looking boy stood in a casual sweater and khaki pants and waved. Duo introduced him as Quatra. The third man, clothed in tight, blue spandex and armor-stuff, crossed his arms and scoweled. Duo introduced him as Vegita. "Ok, now that you have seen all three bachelors, it's time for "question-answer" where you won't see the bachelors, just hear their voices," Duo explained to Aisha. The audience watched as the three bachelors took their seats.  
  
"Bachelor number one is a peace-loving, former gundam pilot. He enjoys classical music, cooking classes, and ruling over hordes of devoted desert people. Bachelor number two is the proud prince of a dying warrior race. He enjoys training, eating, and ridiculing just about everyone. Bachelor number three, the sensitive former and future prince of the Earth, spends his time studying at college, chasing highschool girls, and writing speeches to recite to the evil-doers of the world! Welcome, bachelors!"  
  
Aisha initiated the question-answer round, "Bachelor number one, I have traveled to many distant places in the universe during my search for the galactic layline. I want to be taken places I have never been. If I choose you, where will you take me, from your experience in space travel?" Bachelor number one, legs crossed and hands folded neatly in his lap, spoke in a soft voice, "I would take you up in my gundam and we could have a nice picnic on L1." Aisha rolled her eyes and groaned, "BORING! Is that what you do for fun? A Ctarl Ctarl has much better things to do than go on a dumb picnic." Bachelor number two snickered. "Bachelor number 2, as a Ctarl Ctarl I need to find a way to use my great strength and energy. How will you help me get a daily workout?" Bachelor number two grunted and answered in his deep gravely voice, "I'd take you into a gravity room and beat your inferior body to a bloody mass of fur and claws!" Aisha jumped up from her seat in indignance. "Ha! You could never take on a Ctarl Ctarl, you lesser being! My genetic make-up is far superior to any race in the universe!" Bachelor two responded with a snort and mumbled, "Any saiyan warrior could demolish her within 5 minutes!" Duo finally decided to intervene, "Um, Aisha, why don't you ask your next question?" Aisha pouted, but went on anyway, "Bachelor number three, if you could be anyone, real or fictional, who would you be and why?"  
  
"Hmm," Bachelor three scratched his chin as he considered the question, "well, Lady Aisha, I'd have to say myself! I fight for worthy causes, stop evil, wear a neat outfit, and have lots of friends who care about me!" Aisha felt the imperative compulsion to wretch as she smacked her forehead with her hand and let out an impatient snarl. "I'm sick of this game! Final question for all bachelors! If we were on a date and my ex- boyfriend started blatantly hitting on me, thereby insulting your manliness, and acting violently, how would you deal with it?"  
  
Bachelor number one who had been politely listening to the other contestants responded first, "I would try to ask him about his need to feel dominance in such a situation and talk with him about his desire to fight, when there is no need. Maybe we could all find a peaceful solution to his problem and put an end to all the violence."  
  
Aisha yawned and continued, "OK, bachelor number two do you have anything better to say than this pansy?" Bachelor number three smirked (though Aisha couldn't see him) "I would rip the bastard limb from limb, spit in his face, throw the pathetic being to a pack of rapid pigs, and proceed to blast the pack of them to the next dimension!" Aisha grinned, "sounds like fun! Bachelor number three, what would you do?"  
  
"To protect your and my honor, I would assail the fiend with a lethal red rose, then admonish the offender for his incorrigible ways and finally, allow you the pleasure of assaulting the demon with deadly pink sparkles!"  
  
"Red rose? Pink sparkles? Where do you get this stuff, you deluded fruit?" Aisha was obviously not pleased with her selection of males… Duo chuckled nervously, "OK, well, we'll be back right after this commercial break when Aisha chooses which bachelor she will be going out to dinner, and possibly the intergalactic playroom (sounds kinda kinky, huh?) with!"  
  
  
  
Commercial Break. Please do not continue on to the next section until you have completed three minutes of imaging AOL commercials. Feel free to envision AOL versions 6.0 through 72.5!  
  
  
  
  
  
Duo, sitting next to Aisha, continues where the show was last scene, "And we're back! Aisha, it's time for you pick which of the three bachelors you want to take on a date, let's start with looks. Who did you pick?"  
  
"Well, Duo, like I said before, I need a strong man, and two of those losers looked scrawnier than a pre-adulescent asthmatic. I have to go with Vegita, the only one who won't piss his pants at the first sign of a fight!" Vegita/bachelor number two smirked.  
  
"And for the question answer round?"  
  
"Bachelor number two. He sounds like the most fun. Besides, I need to pound some sense into his arrogant skull! No one can surpass a Ctarl Ctarl in strenth!"  
  
"OK! Well, Aisha, lucky you, bachelor number two is Vegita and you two are headed for one wild weekend at the intergalactic playroom! (sounds kinda kinky, huh?) Vegita walks out from behind the screen, which had blocked him from Aisha's view.  
  
"Well, woman, we finally meet," he paused to size Aisha up, "don't think I'll hold back on you just because you're female!" Duo charismatically steps in front of Aisha and Vegita. "That's all the time we have for today! Come back next time when we have new contestants and find out how Vegita and Aisha got along on their weekend!"  
  
  
  
OK, that's it. I was gonna put how Tenchi and Relena did on their weekend, but who actually cares? 


End file.
